the sad truth.

The older I get, the more I realize that some people will never change. The last blog I posted about bullying help a lot of people but I also got a lot of negativity including being made fun of because I wanted to kill myself at one point in my life. I knew with that blog, there would be negativity, but had no idea people were seriously so low to post things I said on their wall making fun of what I said. That being said, it made me realize what kind of people they are.. It's sad to say that's all their life will be. Going nowhere making fun of someone for what went on in their life, not having the slightest bit of a heart. My boyfriend pointed that out to me as I was balling my eyes out. He made a valid point by saying "bullying is a sign of jealousy" and how true that statement is. People who bully envy something you have. I haven't always been nice to people, but that was before I was put in their shoes. I will be the first person to admit that there are some things I shouldn't have said to people, but you can't take that stuff back. I got forgiveness from people who I hurt, and I'm thankful for that second chance.

I'm tired of being judged for who I WAS not who I am NOW. It's unfortunate that sometimes you have to be at the bottom to truly realize what kind of person you are. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I'm perfect, because I'm the farthest thing from it. I do need to start forgiving people more often to get to know myself a little bit better. When I was 17, I got a tattoo of the word 'Trust' on my rib cage. Trust is the most important thing in ANY relationship, the hardest thing to gain and the easiest to lose. The reason I got it on my ribs, is because it was supposed to be the most painful place to get tattooed. That being said, I don't trust people easily at all. I used to believe that every person that hurt me were bad people and always would be..but that's not true.

I don't forgive very easily.. It's hard for me to let go of things that have happened to me. I'm a bitch to people who have always been mean to me, but now I'd rather kill them with kindness. After posting that blog, I've learned who are my real friends and who I can talk to and who I can't talk to about things. But that's life. People are going to talk about you whether you're doing bad or good. You could be the nicest person or you could be the meanest person, there's still going to be those few people who talk bad about you and everything you do and want to see you fall. There's the people who deserve to be in your life and those who don't, but that's how it always will be. I learned that I need to face that fact. There is nothing you can do or say to these people until they learn themselves. I've learned to step back and look at their life and look at mine..

The sad truth is, their life probably won't get any better. They'll stay in the same place, hang out with the same people, and do the same things they've probably been doing since high school...going nowhere with their life..

<3