bullying.

I graduated in May of 2011, which was not too long ago. All through middle school and high school I was bullied. No teacher cared, nobody cared. My parents were parents and said to ignore it, as well as the principle. It's not that easy. I was bullied every single day of my life. In middle school I was pushed down a set of bleachers,and got laughed at. Nobody helped me up and asked if I was okay.. I got called a whore and a slut in 6th grade and I hadn't done so much as kiss a boy yet. Of course I was young and took it to heart, and told my teachers.. I was told to suck it up and the kids were just "joking around" with me. No, they were not. At the end of my 8th grade year, I was flat chested and every other girl in my grade had some form of body starting. Being the odd one, I got called she-man. Every guy picked on me and called me ugly..

Starting my freshman year, I started developing some what of a body and then the guy who made fun of me started to notice, the the girls who picked on me before took it to another level. I never wanted to go to school, I always made an excuse as to why I didn't feel good and my mom never bought it. My sophomore year got a little better, because I found Kyle. He was my rock and made me feel like the happiest person in the world. He instantly became my best friend and my boyfriend. He made everything so much easier and I talked to him about everything. I got my first job at the end of my junior year, and I hated it so much.


The beginning of my senior year, I was really happy with the way my life was going. I knew what I wanted to do in life and where I wanted to go to college. My job still sucked, but that was the only thing that I truly hated. So I went out and looked for another.It was always my dream to work at Hooters. The girls were always so pretty and glamorized, but I was always told my random guys that my body was never good enough or my boobs were too small. I went and applied, and guys who got the job? This kid. Working at Hooters had it's ups and downs. People would talk about she's this and that because of her job or you're going to hell because you work there.. The last time I checked, it was a job at a restaurant. Girls wear the same thing during the summer as we did there. I got made fun of for working there by the same guys who told me I would never get the job.. That's when it all started..

My junior year, I got a back injury playing softball, so I couldn't work out as much as I wanted to, if any at all. Instead of working out, I tried to eat right and watch what I ate. However, I am a girl. That one week out of the month I want greasy gross food. I would bring chips with me to school and keep them in my purse until I was hungry.. When a certain person saw me eat ANYTHING I would get called fat, cow, hippo, and many more things. I ignored it at first, but it only got worse. November of my senior year, Kyle and I broke up after being together for a year and a half.. I was upset about the way it ended and that it ended at all. The pain was horrible and hard to deal with, but my friends were there for me always. I broke down a few times, but other times I had a smile on my face. Nobody needed to know that I was hurt. It was none of their business. My senior year was awful at this point. I never wanted to go to school, I was constantly at the doctors, and to top it off...I couldn't play softball anymore due to my back injury. At this point things couldn't get much worse, but they did.

In my government class, I got made fun of and called names every. single. day. By both girls and boys. It got to the point where I didn't know who I was. I didn't know who I wanted to be.. I got made fun of for my weight, my make up, my hair, shoes...anything I had, I was made fun of for. It got so bad, that at one, when the teacher walked out of the room and I was in the bathroom, my purse got dumped just to see how much food I had in my purse.. I didn't eat at all that day (just like most days at this point), but I did have food in my purse just in case.. I walked in on people laughing and making fun of me for it. At the beginning of the year, I weighed 130. At this point, I was barely 110. I was starving myself, I was depressed, I cried every single day. I brought it to my principles attention and he told me to quit being a baby and that I was about to graduate and I needed to grow up. I didn't know what to do at this point.. I highly considered suicide..



I know there are more people than me out there that have felt  this way and still feel this way. Trust me I know what depression feels like, I know what it feels like to not want to be on this earth anymore because you're being made fun of and can't handle it by yourself and people won't help you. But there are people out there who DO care, who DO want to listen. Parents don't realize that their child's schools don't give two shits about their kids life. They only care about their grades. Take Kim Jakeway for example, all he cares about are his rankings and the big names in Johnstown, Ohio. So parents, seriously listen to your kids when they tell you if they are being bullied, because you're going to be their biggest support system.

I'm sorry if any of this startles people, but bullying needs to stop. People need to see the reality of bullying and quit living in a fantasy world. Bullying DOES happen. To the people who think it's "funny" to call people names, words do hurt and can leave permanent scares on people. Nobody deserves to be hurt like I was, and nobody deserves to feel the way I felt. I wish I could sit here and say everybody outcome will be as good as mine was.. Because that's not realistic at all, and that's unfortunate.. If anybody who reads this needs somebody to talk to, I'm here. My phone is always on and my mind is always open.

Again, to anybody who I might offend, I apologize.
<3